We had 365 days to itemize everything that we lost. And to turn in receipts for things that we had bought and see what the differences were. Bless our agents heart….we might just have become bf’s through our daily talks.
November 24th was rapidly approaching and in my usual style, I was turning in list, down to the very last minute.
As I sat alone at my desk scanning in the last four receipts, writing down two things that were forgotten and typing the last email to our rep, I hit send. I thought I would feel like a major weight had been lifted. That I would dance and give everyone a high five for finishing something, the hardest something, that had been in the works for 365 days.
Nope….none of that happened.
I unraveled yet again. I didn’t see it coming this time though. It was like I was forcing something closed that I didn’t want to be finished, not yet. And I couldn’t figure out why. With everything else that had been on my to-do list over the past year, this was my number one.
I have been toting around a tote bag with receipts and memory cards that had items on it, a large notebook with my ever growing lists and a huge box in our room that has receipts, notes and of course, more lists. Shouldn’t I be relived that this is over, that I can toss all of that and we can all move on?
Instead I sat there, looking at the stack of hundreds of papers thinking ‘that was our life, right there…all written down, organized by room. I have never been this organized before.’ It was just all too depressing.
Same way that I didn’t finish out 31 Days, as much as I hate that I didn’t, I just couldn’t hack it anymore.
It was a tiny ship that I was mentally trying to stay afloat, and I had begun to sink.
That’s about when it started. I started getting texts, messages and emails. From friends, acquaintances and people I don’t know that said that they have been thinking of us. They knew that this upcoming holiday season might be hard. It started last week and they have kept coming in. Just at a loss of words for the people that God has placed in our lives. We are humbled, grateful and beyond thankful for all of your messages, hugs, notes and kleenexes over the past year.